The Wei of Rantings

Rojak Mixed With Rojak Becomes Super Rojak..

2010-02-16T15:45:00.011+08:00

Wow..seems that it has been more than 3 months I haven't posted anything here..my apologies to all the faithful readers of this blog (if there are any). I was so busy for the whole semester and finally got myself to write something here. So, as the title suggests, this post will consist of many happenings that occurred throughout the short few months of my life. A rojak is a dish that has many ingredients all mixed together, added with sauce. So, lets see what ingredients are there..heheh

Somehow, at the end of my second trimester, it felt so fast that it has come to an end; On contrary, the first semester felt so slow. There have been many ups and downs throughout this whole period that makes it meaningful.

As those who know me would know, it was my birthday a few months ago and it was one of the most memorable birthday. In the month of December, many people were having celebrations for birthdays for their friends, not me though, but nevermind, that's not the point. Throughout that one month, I got to eat 6 different cakes, only 2 are for me..haha. Around my birthday, I had a test in university whereby I followed some classmates to a mamak stall for lunch. Someone suddenly remembered that it was my birthday and everybody started singing birthday song for me..haha, first time experiencing that.
The cakes in question can be seen below:

Tiramisu cake

Carrot cake

another Carrot cake

Classic cheese cake..i think

Hazelnut cheese cake

Caramel cheese cake

One of the most tiring and fun time was when I was rushing for my programming assignment. Almost everyday had to go to groupmate's house to rush the assignment. The peak was the day before submission date, all the group members didn't sleep at all whereas I just got a 1-hour sleep. Another great obstacle befell the following day, I unsuccessfully overdid a 270 degree drifting that surely cost some money. The good news is, I was unharmed and managed to get to university to submit the assignment.

A few weeks ago, I just finished my 10 days of final exam for this semester, now waiting for results. The next trimester is a short trimester and at least I got a satisfying timetable, one of the combination I arranged despite/thanks to the flexi-diet system. Only 3 subjects next trimester, so there are lots of free time between classes.

And so, right after the final exam, I started on a project planned a few weeks beforehand, that is making the papercraft of VF-25. Not done yet but going to finish soon, it turned to be bigger than expected, wonder if I have any place to display it after I finish it. Most probably I'll post photos of it after I finish it.

Last week, I watched 3 movies with a friend in a day - Avatar, Tiger Woohoo, Universal Soldier. In the end, Avatar seems to be the best among these 3 although I only watched Tiger Woohoo in the cinema and watching in the cinema this time was different compared to other times.

It's Chinese New Year now, so I'm wishing everyone Happy Chinese New Year. This is the time when friends and relatives would visit each other. Whole group of friends would visit each others' houses and collect "angpau" while they're at it.

Well, I'm having semester break now, but during this semester break, we didn't go out together as often as last semester, hope that we would be going out more before the end of this semester break.

Tu me manques

New Semester, New Challange

2009-10-23T22:04:00.006+08:00

It has been a great 1 month semester break but once again, I am back in the university. This is just the first week but my life has not been an easy one. Lots and lots of challenges come one after another. What has caused all these?

Undeniably, the main cause is the "flexidiet system" and many people would agree on this. What system is this? Well, basically it is the system for our timetable and it is claimed that we can set our own timetable, choose our own timeslot, change the time according to our liking, very flexible indeed. Surely these sound great but from the start, I knew that this is all gimmick. Only those who skipped class to camp in front of the computer right before the registration opens would get their preferred timeslots that they have planned out. After that wave of registration, a lot of timeslots would be full, so..just be happy that you can fit all the subjects in and the subject timeslots would not clash with each other. Unfortunately my case was the latter; fortunately, at least I am in the same timeslots with some friends for some of the timeslots. Another thing is never be fooled by the word "flexible", we are not allowed to modify our timetable in any way once the registration is closed, especially now is the time we need it the most. They would always give the same pro excuse "You chose and set the time yourself, so we cannot interfere", strangely, I heard some people who said that their timetable was modified without them knowing anything. Now somehow a lot of people dropped certain subjects and there are spaces in other classes, and yet we are not allowed to change. Today, for one of my class, there was only 12 person in the class, later joined by the class right beside our class which consisted of 2 person for that whole class...wow..

What is more amazing is even some lecturer did not like this system as it is very hard for them to fix a time for replacement class and everybody's timetable is unique. For some of the classes, I really knew nobody in the class but people always tell me to make new friends which is something easier said than done for me. However, unlike the last time, this time..although it is just the beginning of the semester, I already started feeling a bit lonely, especially for the classes without anyone I know. From another point of view, I learned how to value true friend and the time spent together more. There is one matter that I have been thinking, why can't they just let us continue to be in the same tutorial group for 3 of the semesters? Is one of the reason so that we can make more friends and expand our network of friends?

On a separate occasion, our beloved counselor, Mr.Eric is leaving this university and going somewhere else. We won't have to chance to go for his Peer-Helping-Programme (PHP) anymore and I didn't get the chance to know him any better. Han collected farewell messages from those who know Mr.Eric especially those from PHP that were all written into this card.

colourful..isn't it?

Farewell then, Mr.Eric, may you live long and prosper.

P.S. Thanks for being there when I was down a bit, that was a great help^^

Semester Break Post

2009-10-11T15:48:00.002+08:00

Time sure passes fast, it's been nearly a month since I last updated the blog and I have been having the semester break since 19th of September. For the past few weeks, I have done some things that I thought impossible in the past, that is making the impossible possible..haha..One of the thing is I never thought of mountain walking...actually I never really knew what was moutain walking till I experienced it myself.

I had thought of studying for the next semester during the break, however saying is easier than done. Just by looking at the stuffs we'll be learning, a lot of question marks pop out and the attention to study goes somewhere else. In the end, it's easier to study with the guidance of a lecturer.

After two weeks of (doing lots of stuffs or doing nothing), our final exam results were out. At least I didn't fail any subjects and got the GPA of more than 2 which is the bare minimum. However, it is not a satisfying result for me, so I'll have to study properly to get better results from now on. Nobody really asked for my results, maybe there was only one...no matter.

One of my biggest achievement during this break is that I finally watched the whole of Macross Frontier that I really had no time to watch since months ago!! Overall, the CGI are great, action is awesome, storyline is great and songs are very nice too. That was a rather super-simplified review..haha..Another great achievement is visiting friends' house meeting friends that study afar that are having some holidays and returned home. It sure is great so have a tidy house and a big space without furnitures on the hall.

It sure is hard to find a friend that can suit each other and somehow accept each other, especially in a new environment where a lot of people with different background and different culture gather. But I know one thing, with my personality, few are similar to me and few can really understand me or even understand what I say. This is not a matter that I have thought about in the past but somehow this is a matter that I think now.

P.S. Thanks for being my friend, letting me experience things that are like dreams, understanding me, encouraging me, taught and told me things, always there and being such a caring friend...you are one of a kind.

"Do You Believe in Lamination?" Wow..an Original Anime Poster!!

2009-09-16T22:56:00.009+08:00

Wow..it seems that I have not posted anything for more than 2 weeks, sorry about that to the loyal followers of my blog. Truth is I have been having the final exam for this semester and am still at it as I speak. Yet, why am I posting this now?

Well, a few months ago I played some flash games about Animax LaMB at gamersfirst and it was stated that players have chance to win some of the Limited Edition Animax LaMB posters. So, I just played for some fun and had little hope of getting those posters. However, I was quite surprised that at the beginning of July, I received an email saying that I won the limited edition poster and that it would be mailed to me in 3 weeks. After that, 2 months past without the slightest news and I thought that it would never come.

Surprisingly, yesterday a PosLaju truck stopped in front of my house and handed a cylindrical object. At the first glance, obviously there is a poster inside and I was quite excited but I had to go to uni to have my exam first before I can go home to open it..haha. After a detailed inspection of the whole cylinder, I realised that this was sent from US all the way here..wow. It travelled halfway round the world, no wonder it took so long to reach here. Not to mention there is a sticker with the label "Dilepaskan kastam pada _____". At first my mom thought that I bought something from US..haha.

I was quite excited as I opened it and "wow..an original anime poster" I said to myself which happened to be my first original anime poster..haha. The size of the poster is much bigger than what I ever expected it to be. The poster had a bit of fold lines and the edges are a bit folded too, but who cares..haha. It is a limited edition poster (500 units) with the autograph of the creator, what more can be asked of?

If you ask whether I'm happy or not, of course I'm happy and excited, this is the first time I have won anything thing like that and my first original anime poster, not to mention it's ANIME poster..yeah....haha.

The cylindrical object

Content of the cylindrical object

Ta..da..Animax LaMB poster!!

Real autograph

LIMITED EDITION..yeahhh

Presentation in the Form of Debate for Computer Studies

2009-08-24T22:29:00.005+08:00

Finally, today is the day for my group to debate in the Computer Studies class. I think we were lucky to have gotten "Mobile Phones - Pros" as our topic, you'll see why. Overall, I felt rather dull today.

First, my whole group which consists of 4 members now instead of 5 arrived earlier than usual to have a small discussion about our debate. After that, while my group members were busy rehearsing, I was just standing alone outside the classroom relaxing. You might think that this was a way of slacking around, but actually it has it's own purpose. The most important thing that time was to calm down and relax, and it was quite quiet outside the classroom, so why not relax there? Besides, it would create a certain pressure to see people around me rehearsing. Soon, I was joined by one of my group member who decided to learn from me by standing and relaxing outside the classroom.

When it was time, we got into our respective positions and got ready for our big event. Since we use slides for our presentation, we had to first insert our thumbdrive into the laptop connected to the projector. The funniest thing was the opponent group had a problem, the laptop cannot detect their thumbdrive. Of course there would be problem like this, the pro thumbdrive they used was a 2cm*1cm*0.2cm little piece of plastic. Sure it is small and has a capacity of 4GB, but is it reliable? Anyhow, it got solved as they had a backup in another more reliable thumbdrive.

Thanks to all the solid evidences that our truly reliable group member found, we managed to counter every single point the opponent side stated. When it was my turn as I was the third debater, I was actually having fun shooting down at all their points...haha. Even so, that was mostly relying on the solid evidences my faithful group member had written down.

Earlier I said that we were lucky to have gotten "Mobile Phones - Pros" as our topic, our opponent side is "Mobile Phones - Cons". The audiences were so against the opponent side, maybe it's because they support the pros of mobile phones or maybe they had mercy as our group only has 4 members whereas the opponent group has 6 members or maybe our solid evidences were too solid to be broken in any sort of way. One thing about the opponent team, no matter how they said, they were mostly focusing on the same con, they used the same point over and over again as if they had nothing else that was more useful.

After the debate, we went to the cafeteria in another block which is quite near to our block to have a small feast. For some reason, I felt pretty full. After that, we went for an expedition to explore JayaOne, we discovered that there are more shops now.

Lost

2009-08-21T17:32:00.005+08:00

Right now, I feel like a drifting soul wondering aimlessly towards the infinity. I have forgotten the true reason I go to university and I get stressed whenever I am there. I used to be looking forward to attending university, however long term and recent occurrences have changed my perspective view on everything.

Nothing has changed, when I decided to change for the better, there will be some fluctuations in the changes and it seems to have mess up myself. In the end, I am still who I originally was with some minor differences. During the last few years before I entered this university, no girls would really talk to me or even care about my existence, when I talked to them, they would reluctantly answer and escape from me as soon as possible. So, when I came to university, I decided that I must make at least one friend who is girl who would really talk to me and care about my existence. However, I don't know if I have achieved it or not.

I was always seen and treated differently from others, maybe it's because I'm an introvert and not good in socializing with people. My presence didn't really make a difference to others. However, it seems that some people would really treat me equally despite all my introversion, I am thankful for that. So far, I seem to be a lucky one to be surrounded by many good people, my friend wasn't as lucky though - Lost

Whenever something good and happy happens, I always have the thoughts: How long will it last? Will it last long enough? Is something bad and sad going to happen?
According to my past experiences, happiness and sadness are always alternating each other, they take turns to approach myself. That means, when something happy happens, something sad follows; When something sad happens, something happy follows.

By the way, since somebody didn't want to listen to the whole story, I'll just state it here. During the Chemistry practical...actually way before that time, something was already bothering me. Then some rapid bombardment was enough to trigger all the negative thoughts to pop into my mind. There were some minor triggers, but the main trigger was actually the grouping of the students. I was the irregular who was the only "extra" left after everybody got their groups. I know that you will think that this is a small matter, but as I have stated, this is the trigger, not the main cause.

Overload - System Shut Down

Hedgehog's Dilemma & Introversion

2009-08-20T22:01:00.006+08:00

The hedgehog's dilemma, or sometimes the porcupine dilemma, is an analogy about the challenges of human intimacy. It describes a situation in which a group of hedgehogs all seek to become close to one another in order to share their heat during cold weather. However, once accomplished, they cannot avoid hurting one another with their sharp quills. They must step away from one another. Though they all share the intention of a close reciprocal relationship, this may not occur for reasons which they cannot avoid.

Both Schopenhauer and Freud have used this situation to describe what they feel is the state an individual will find themselves in relation to others. The hedgehog's dilemma suggests that despite goodwill, human intimacy cannot occur without substantial mutual harm, and what results is cautious behavior and weak relationships. With the hedgehog's dilemma one is recommended to use moderation in the affairs with others both because it is in self-interest, and also out of consideration for others. The hedgehog's dilemma is used to justify or explain introversion and isolationism.

Real hedgehogs do not unintentionally hurt each other when they get close, as when they are relaxed they will lay their quills down completely flat. When living in groups, hedgehogs often sleep close to each other.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedgehog's_dilemma

As the article suggests, introverts like me have the hedgehog's dilemma. They want to get close to others, but the closer they get, the more they feel as well as others feel hurt. That is why some chose to isolate themselves to not get hurt, some lost the courage to interact with others. Some chose to escape while some chose to face it.

Was I an introvert and till now what degree is my introversion? Is is wrong to be introvert? When I say don't know, means I really don't know, not because I don't want to answer or whatever you think.
My friend's post explains everything, so go look there - Being Introvert=Mentally Ill?

Close to something but paid a big price

2009-08-19T21:13:00.006+08:00

"Anew..."

"Come back, Anew"

"Foolish human, I'll show you the difference in our power"

Friends and University

2009-08-15T15:57:00.010+08:00

I had 2 tests in a row this week, so no time to on computer and blog. I'll just combine everything in this post.

There are 3 types of friends:
1. Ordinary Friends
These are the type of friends that are just friends, they don't really mind much about the other ordinary friends and don't mind whatever they think of them. They just greet each other and talk sometimes.
2. Sharing Friends
These are the type of friends that usually hang out together. They share their thoughts with each other and are able to get along well.
3. Close/Intimate Friends
These are the type of friends that get along very well. They understand each other and are willing to share their personal thoughts with each other, they are like brothers and sisters. However, forming such bond is no trivial thing. One reminder though, close/intimate friends are not to be mistaken as couples if they consist of boys and girls.

Now, just how is it like to be refused and how is it like to do bad in exams? These pics will show you:

Inelastic collision

Raped by a robot...not really..

Pushed to the wall

Raped by another big robot...not really...again

Without including other matters, just the test alone is enough to cause enough stress that disrupts daily life, it's all because of last minute study.

Study regularly=Good student + Low stress
Only last minute study=Lousy student + High stress

From now on, we will have to strive full force and give our best in our studies!

Two in One Post

2009-08-08T16:12:00.008+08:00

Recently, I found myself having some reduction in efficiency for studying. Some of the possibilities for that that I have listed are:
1. Sleep deprive
Concentration and understanding are lowered due to the tired eyes and brain. After listening and understanding, will all the information stay or will it go off? Sleep is a biological necessity for our body, if we stay awake for a certain period of time without getting any rest, we might suddenly black out.
2. Change - Side effects?
Concentration and understanding are related to the seriousness of a person. If I become too leisure and not serious enough in my studies, will it effect my concentration and understanding in my studies?
3.Distribution of Concentration
Lets say that a person has 100% of concentration to distribute in his daily life, how would he distribute it? How would I distribute it? 10% for thinking? 35% for studies? 35% for human communication? 20% reserved?

Thanks to my friends especially Jhun for calling me for yamcha, which means "drink tea" (although he nearly forgot about me). That's ok because I was too busy with university works and stuffs that I didn't talk much to them. It's great to see all the old friends that I used to see everyday.
By meeting them, they made me realize that they are my true, permanent and irreplaceable friends. I felt neither stressful nor left out when I was with them and they would treat me normally and as one of them. We are always happy together and that is very important.

A little on my friends from secondary (hope that you don't mind me sharing my thoughts)
Jhun - my close friend & neighbor, anime fan, enough said
Goh - my close friend, enough said
Mooncake - my close friend, knows lots about technology, apple fan, enough said
WS - my close friend, knows lots about technology and games, pro gamer & pro student, enough said
and some others that I may not mention here but are still my close friends..^^

Change?

2009-08-01T20:13:00.000+08:00

"Setsuna, change, for my sake, I wasn't able to"
Lockon Stratos's voice echoes within Setsuna.

First of all, I would like to express my gratitude to everyone who supported me through all the hard times and my apologies to everyone whom I have caused worries and maybe misunderstandings.

I have learned that people are able to change for the better. I was stressed out and was slowly being pulled towards the dark side which is the extreme negative side. However, a hand reached out to me and I was pulled out of that seemingly bottomless pit. The one behind the hand is someone who would listen to all my rantings and give useful advices.

We must change for the present and future. According to the book "Personality Plus" by Florence Littauer, there are 4 temperaments for human personality - Popular Sanguine, Perfect Melancholy, Powerful Choleric & Peaceful Phlegmatic. Every individual has 2 dominant temperaments and 2 recessive temperaments. The dominant temperaments of an individual cannot be chosen or changed as they are embedded into a person. What an individual can do is bring out the positive side of his/her temperaments to unleash his/her ultimate potential and discard the negative side of his/her temperaments. That means for a perfect melancholy like me, I'll have to cheer up.

The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. It means that if we keep thinking about something, we are attracting it, though we may not realize it. If we focus more on our strength, we will reinforce our strength; Similarly, if we focus more on our weaknesses, we will reinforce our weaknesses. If you keep thinking about not failing the exams, you are attracting the fail, so you should think of getting good results instead.

Anyway, thanks to the experienced and perfect melancholy helper who was willing to listen to all my rants and gave useful advices.

Lonely and Ignored...

2009-07-28T17:33:00.001+08:00

For some reason, I felt quite down today, don't even know what caused this. I just remember something from yesterday in my mind that sounds like "If you don't like to talk to me, just tell me face to face, no need to look somewhere else when I talk, refuse to answer and refuse to tell me anything". Another thing is an individual didn't tell me anything after our last class yesterday and luckily I saw that individual on the way out and found out some "news", otherwise I would have been waiting somewhere like a total idiot....

Today, I felt no mood as soon as I woke up, don't know if it was caused by the stuffs yesterday or because I had not had a good night sleep or both. When I reached the university I just isolated myself as I really had no mood for anything. Throughout the whole time in university, the individual whom I presumed didn't like to talk to me, find me annoying and dislike me was happily talking to everybody else, I avoided contact a few times because of what I presumed.

Just as how it always was and what I can always expect, people who were sitting together with me discussing stuffs would just suddenly abandon me and walk away together without saying a thing to me. However, since I had nothing better to do since I was supposed to meet a counselor but the counselors have gone to a training course till Thursday, so I just quietly followed them. I did some homework in the library and watched the others doing their stuffs. I said something to an individual and that individual said something back which I couldn't hear, so I asked "What did you say?" and that individual just didn't bother and abandoned me like always. The 3 individuals were walking together when I took another path out of the library to our class which is much shorter and of course, I arrived at the class first.

After our last class of the day, I asked that individual again what I couldn't hear earlier. To my despair, that individual totally ignored me and walked away (again...). What else can I do, I just blazed through the crowded area till the parking lot.

Then, when I was driving back, some stupid car suddenly came out from a junction and appeared right in front of me. I was moving quite fast then, then what else can I do...of course brake hard. As I braked, the car was getting closer and closer and I was just inches away from ramming it, the screeching sound of the tires was so loud for about 3 seconds and I saw smokes gushing up behind my car, probably caused by the sand on the ground or the heat from the friction of the tires and the road. I was neither scared nor shocked by this incident.

Welcome

2009-07-28T17:25:00.000+08:00

Welcome to whoever who is reading this blog, this is where I will be ranting from time to time, so please do check from time to time to see some new rantings.

Feel free to leave comments, I will surely read them.