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Nothing has changed, when I decided to change for the better, there will be some fluctuations in the changes and it seems to have mess up myself. In the end, I am still who I originally was with some minor differences. During the last few years before I entered this university, no girls would really talk to me or even care about my existence, when I talked to them, they would reluctantly answer and escape from me as soon as possible. So, when I came to university, I decided that I must make at least one friend who is girl who would really talk to me and care about my existence. However, I don't know if I have achieved it or not.
I was always seen and treated differently from others, maybe it's because I'm an introvert and not good in socializing with people. My presence didn't really make a difference to others. However, it seems that some people would really treat me equally despite all my introversion, I am thankful for that. So far, I seem to be a lucky one to be surrounded by many good people, my friend wasn't as lucky though - Lost
Whenever something good and happy happens, I always have the thoughts: How long will it last? Will it last long enough? Is something bad and sad going to happen?
According to my past experiences, happiness and sadness are always alternating each other, they take turns to approach myself. That means, when something happy happens, something sad follows; When something sad happens, something happy follows.
By the way, since somebody didn't want to listen to the whole story, I'll just state it here. During the Chemistry practical...actually way before that time, something was already bothering me. Then some rapid bombardment was enough to trigger all the negative thoughts to pop into my mind. There were some minor triggers, but the main trigger was actually the grouping of the students. I was the irregular who was the only "extra" left after everybody got their groups. I know that you will think that this is a small matter, but as I have stated, this is the trigger, not the main cause.
Overload - System Shut Down
well, if you could always make yourself think that your only reason of going university is just to only study, study, and nothing other then study, like I'm now, it should feel better.
ReplyDeleteBut of course, that's just a short term solution, even I wouldn't suggest anyone into this extreme measure.
I'm sure you're always better than me in dealing with this.
ya, thanks, it is useful to think of studying all the time in university, that should be our first priority in university anyway.
ReplyDeleteI'm just as good as you in dealing with this.